Three

Three. I just can't believe it. How on earth do I have a three year old? It can't be....Life without her, doesn't even seem like it could exist. From newborn to infant to baby to toddler, now....a little girl. A little girl that is smart, funny, caring, nurturing, energetic, spirited and so loving.

Running, hopping, galloping, dancing, sashaying, and occasionally somersaulting, are some of your favorite movements.You love music and singing on anything that looks remotely like a microphone. And it is more like screaming no singing, because if you aren't doing it loud then why bother. You also have a real interest in mom's violin. Your little imagination has really blossomed. You still have your three monkeys : Mildred, Colorado and Vashon Island. They pretty much go everywhere with us. You like to talk to them, tell them stories, read them books, and order them around. Usually the time it appears to be some sort of mockery of your mother :) You also still LOVE your baby dolls. You have stopped breastfeeding them and have now change them with Jackson's diapers every five minutes. You think their poopy diapers are so real that you insist on throwing them away and I have to sneak into the trash to recover the hundreds of diapers you dispose of by the hour. Your love for books is still AMAZING to me. No joke, you would read ALL day if I could. We probably spend on average an hour a day reading books to you. Recently I read 40 minutes straight, and you still didn't think we were done. Even if we have only read a book one time or something we read months ago you can pretty much finish the last word of every sentence.You also enjoy grabbing a stack of books and reading them yourself. It is so much fun to sit nearby and listen to you recount the stories we have told. Your memory is UNBELIEVABLE. I know I have said this before, but literally NOTHING gets by you. Nothing. You amaze others with recounting events that happened months ago. Just last night you asked me where your caterpillar was. The caterpillar Kiki who we kept in a jar in the house for a week until he appeared to be not doing so well and mom released. Yes that was months ago. You also pick up conversations people have and recount these even if you were in the other room. We are working on all your letter sounds and recognition, and writing. Just the other day you asked to color and said 'Look I drew a J!' Sure enough a backwards J was on your paper. And although you don't want to sit still long enough to learn the letter sounds you are picking up much more than I think, busting out U for umbrella or things similar to this all the time. You definitely recognize all the letters and numbers from 1-10 and can count to 20 only missing number 15. You ask me every time you are int the tub if I have picked out your outfit for the day and get upset if I haven't. But when you see what I have picked out you get mad and insist wearing something else. Just the other day you looked at me and said, but I want a choice! We have really leaned on choices as a positive discipline route in empowering you to make your own decisions, and ones that we are ok with. And apparently you have noticed :) You are a very good eater, and will try anything. I never have to worry about making meals around you, and I love you for this. You even love things like salad and kale. You love when we go to PCC versus the other stores because they have the mini carts. And although it feels like a train wreck to me, while I try to remember what we are getting, keep your brother seated (as he likes to stand in the cart) and direct your cart (or race cart) from hitting every person and item in the store....you really are getting quite good at steering and watching for others. You can almost 100 percent dress yourself. You sometimes just get a little frustrated, and whine. But that see,s to be coming out in just about everything, so we have really been working on that. You just like to give up without putting a whole lot of effort into things, hoping mom or dad will save you. And your temper...oh my. Just like your mother :) It sure is a reminder to demonstrate good behavior....so I am trying and well we are trying together. Your language is amazing and even more so your annunciation. I will hear other kids at the park that are 5 talk, and you speak waaaay better. So clear and soooo many words. I love it when you use your big words like certainly, inappropriate, and unacceptable, all in context. You have really figured out how to manipulate every situation, and so tactfully. Like if you want my attention and I am not giving it to you, you just walk over and push your brother down. But really your relationship with him is quite special. You kiss him goodnight, give him a hug and say 'I love you buddy.' before his naps and each night. You like to mimic me and guide him around showing him things, saying 'careful that is dangerous.' Don't get me wrong, you two have your moments, and no how to push each others buttons, but for the most part you really get a long. Something we really have worked to foster and sure hope you will continue for a lifetime. You are still a daddy's girl, but with mom being home now...it really has strengthened our relationship. You love pink, nail polish, hair stuff, lip gloss, dresses....and ANYTHING girly. You have a little OCD in you and have to put things back in their place at the store if something fell of the rack. And when cleaning up at home you focus on the very small details, making sure the very small pieces are in the right place versus just throwing them in the toy box. This I think is your way of stalling to pick up. You love spending time with your cousins, and ask about them regularly. And finally in my mind two of your biggest achievements of this last year the potty and binky. For 5 months now you have been 100% potty trained. Day time and night time, and it is great. The other milestone, which was not as easy to tackle, was the binky. The binky fairy came on Christmas (when mom and dad forgot it at home....so there was no going back) and gave it to a new baby who needed it. After 1 horrible night and 1 kind of bad night....we were done! The only repercussion of this....you were officially done with naps, which you still need.

Although I was thrilled to celebrate this day and make it all about you (as your party isn't for a couple of weeks at the new house), I did so slightly somberly. Because I can't believe that three years, that I can never repeat, are over. Three years that have been so wonderful where we both have learned so much together. Whether I like it or not, life goes on even faster and you are growing up so fast. As hard as this can be, it is quite amazing to track your progression and watch you turn into a little person. A little person your dad and I can be so proud of.

The day you arrived....3 years later.

As more years go by all of the days start to blend together and the most impacting and important memories are the ones that prevail at the front of my mind. Not the day to day activities. But the happy and sad times, all the laughs, tears, joys and heartache of life. And with another year behind us, still the day of her birth (my first child), is something that can never be forgotten. I think some of the anxiety that prevailed with the reality that I was about to push a watermelon out of a lemon, might of overcome the minute by minute detail recapping....but overall the feelings I felt that day, my whereabouts and the moment my eyes and arms first laid upon her is something that no matter how much time passes will never be lost. Feelings that I wish everyone could experience and that simply can't be put into words.

I am sure I recount the story every year, but how could I not. Everyone says it forever changes you, and well that can't be further from the truth. It was on this day that I earned the title Mom. A title I yearned to attain someday as a little girl  and practiced relentlessly with babies and dolls. Plus recounting the event every year allows me to relive the moment. The feelings of overwhelming happiness and reality that hit like a ton of bricks. And although I couldn't be happier and prouder of the little girl she has grown into. It is also an even bigger reminder that life is simply passing by too fast. It is a reminder to stop, give her a big hug and kiss and to hold her really tight. For tomorrow she will be off to college.


The day you came into the world:

I remember sitting in from of my computer at work. Angry. Ya that's right stark right mad. It was my due date and I was sure, almost 100%, that I might be pregnant forever. There were very little signs that you would be coming in the imminent future, maybe even never. I tried to stay busy with work, but with turning most of my projects over, with your impending arrival, there was very little to do. Several trips later to the bathroom, a lunch break surfing the internet for any distraction possible and uncountable comments from co-workers- 'Why are you here?' 'Isn't today the day?'- It was finally time to go home. There had been some tightening to report to the hubby, but nothing consistent or remarkably noteworthy. There was no way we would spend the evening at home stewing about how this process was NEVER going to happen, so we trekked to Nonni and Papa Andy's to pass time. Andrew's sister Katie and their cousin Shaunna from CA happened to be at the house collecting family pictures for a future slideshow. Having both been through this process recently, they set my mind at ease. The tightening was become a little more noticeable and more consistent during our visit, but I dared not tell a soul. I couldn't bare another call, 'how are you feeling?' 'Is anything happening?' I called my mom on the way home and told her it might be soon. I looked at Andrew before we went to bed and said, 'Let's get some rest, it could be tonight.'

I woke at 3:30am and sat in bed silently counting them out. First 9-10 min then 8-9 min. At 4:30am I showered and got ready. I kept telling Andrew he could probably go to work and I would make it to my scheduled 8:30 appointment just fine by myself. But as 7:30am rolled around they were 5min apart and beginning to get real intense. I quickly realized the result of me driving would be a 5 car pile up on 405, and wouldn't do anyone any good. So I settled on Chauffeur Fitzpatrick.

With my doctor out of town my schedule appointment was with Dr. Stemmerman. I had never met her, but she was who I was originally referred to in the office. I was at 3cm with a bulging sac of water that could burst at any moment. She gave me the choice to get checked in at the 'inn' or wait it out and let things progress in a more comfortable setting, like home. That was probably one of the easiest choices I have ever made in my lifetime. So onto labor and delivery we went.

After filling out some paperwork we sat and waited for our nurse to come get us and bring us to our room. This was it. I was completely overcome with emotion. I looked at Andrew and said, 'We are having a baby!' It was actually going to happen. But no I couldn't get excited until we were in the room and was SURE we weren't getting sent home. My mom called to ask what size sweatshirt she needed to exchange for Andrew. Before I could answer, wait where are you?? It's time, we are at the hospital. I was suppose to be picking her up from the airport in less than 4 hours.

I don't remember the room number, but I know we finally got all settled in around 10:30. After finding a ride for my mom (thanks Andy!) and the settling in my mind that this was it and we weren't getting sent home, we could finally relax. We watched some office episodes, walked around the hall to keep things moving and let things take their course.

I don't remember the exact sequencing of things from this point on, because they got so intense. But I know my mom showed up around 2pm when things were getting real fun. They had just checked me and I was at a 3-4cm and broke my water. The contractions were getting so intense and I just couldn't get comfortable. I tried different positions, but nothing helped. I remember holding onto the bed rail in agony in pure silence. No one was talking, as I think they were all afraid to utter a word. I ate a few popsicles which kept me going and decided to try getting in the bath tub. Things really sped up when I got in the tub and after 20 minutes I will never forget looking at Andrew and saying, 'I am done. I want the epidural and I want it ready as soon as I get out of this tub.'

To call the Anesthesiologist my hero would have been an understatement. Not only was it not half as bad as I had anticipated, but he was just awesome. So helpful, encouraging and a godsend. He even came back in the room while I was pushing and was more encouraging then any of the other medical staff. After 20 minutes the pain was still there though, and the nurse called him back to figure out why it wasn't working. He said 'Push the button!' Andrew quickly pushed the button and in a short time I was one happy camper. I looked at my mom and Andrew and said, 'Aren't we happy I got the epidural?' It was a unanimous, yes!

We settled in and got comfortable realizing it would probably take a while, after all I had been sitting at a 3 all day and my contractions were literally on top of each other. We turned on sex and the city and Andrew and my mom started to enjoy some dinner. After 30 minutes I felt an insane pressure and the nurse seemed skeptical, really?? She checked me and sure enough...I was at a 10 and the babies head was right there. It was time!

After an insanely hurried prep to get things ready and get the doctor in the room...it was 20 minutes of pushing and there you were at 5:57pm on 1.29.09. Tons of black curly hair, a little squished nose, and strong little muscular legs. So little, so helpless and so our responsibility to take care of forever. The reality of your arrival was still shocking and I kept waiting for someone to come in and take you away. You were really mine, forever.

***

So there it is. Your arrival, recounted three whole years later. And as much as the single event of your birth has changed me, that was only just the beginning. In three short years your dad and I have watched your amazing growth and progression. From days to diapers to undies, crawling to galloping, simple words to full structured sentences, sippy cups to normal cups, and so much more. Beyond the importance of what you have learned are the things you have taught us. Patience, a new kind of love, utter silliness and selflessness. More to come on the wonderful little girl you have turned into.

Enjoying January

With not too many items planned on our agenda this month we have been trying to keep busy. With our imminent move (beginning of February) I have promised myself that we would pack a little at a time, instead of cramming at the end. Although, Andrew assures me we work better under pressure. So the first endeavor, organizing the garage so it is easier to move. Can you even believe after looking at the picture below, that this is what our garage looks like pre-packing? We have a tandom garage and thanks to Juel breaking the door when we first moved in, we have never parked in it. As a result it has become the storage unit full of sporting goods, a weight set, toys, baby goods, Christmas decorations, and bags and bags of the kids baby clothes. I haven't gotten rid of any of their clothes. I just can't bring myself to do it. So we will pack them all along to the new house. Other than packing and organizing, or thinking about packing and organizing, we have had some wild hair days (as Jackson's hair is getting quite long and he will be getting a hair cut as soon as I am brave enough), gone on lots of walks (started walking the Issaquah Highlands hill-which is basically a mile straight up, pushing 50 lbs in the stroller that is), took down the Christmas tree and decorations (always hard for Andrew to do- and Siena still keeps asking where her Christmas tree is-oh did I mention she still asks about her Pumpkin from Halloween, serious separation anxiety), went to Zoey's 2nd birthday and Nathan's on month celebration (no pictures, sorry), walked around Redmond on the trails near Marymoor with the kids in the back pack (to get in shape for some serious hikes), visited our new house (also no pictures yet), took pictures of the kids and their Christmas presents for thank you e-mails, attended ballet, and taken care of one sick little boy. And you know what is worse than one sick little boy???One sick little boy and one sick little girl. Unfortunately Siena was right behind Jackson, and is quite a mess this afternoon and evening. He has a double ear infection and is now on antibiotics, so hopefully on the up and up. Although after his first dose of antibiotics, on the first night he slept the worse he has during this entire cold. Meaning last night was a series of short cat naps rather than a nights sleep for mom and dad. Andrew and I also watched Water for elephants. I loved the book and was slightly disappointed that the movie didn't follow it more, but that always happens.

So now with some horrible weather (pouring rain and cold) and sick kiddos we are trapped inside for the weekend. Hopefully we will get some packing done :)

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The new year.

It is hard to believe that we are starting a new year already. Time just keeps going by faster. I thought it went by quickly after we had Siena, but now with two...it goes by even faster. I am so thankful that I can stay home with them and soak them both in as much as possible.

2011 has been a big year for our family. For me personally I made a huge decision on April 1st 2011 and quite my job of four year at Boeing. A decision that was hard to do, but one that has allowed me to truly get to know the life as a stay at home mom, and have an even stronger relationship with my children. One of the best decisions I have ever made.But of course if you know me, I have to be working on something right...so back to school I go. Starting in April 2012 I will hit the books (part-time in the evenings) to start my new profession of nursing.

For our children 2011 has been a year of fun, growth and change. They both had some big milestones this year. Jackson- got his first tooth, slept through the night, started crawling, started walking, said his first words- Hi, Mama, Dada, and Papa. And of course...much much more. Siena- got her first haircut, potty trained and said goodbye to the binky. These of course are just a few things that come to mind at this particular early morning. It is amazing how much these two have changed and developed into little people over this last year. It is scary to think how much more they will will grow and change over this next year, and I wish we could just freeze time and keep everything how it is.

For Andrew, he left Mortenson at the end of April 2011 and started on with Boeing. The 40 hour work week, paid overtime and fact that he would be driving to the same place everyday (although it is Auburn) -could not be turned down. His schedule is so much more flexible and it was crucial to lock down this job so he could help support my school schedule. His stress level has also decreased a great deal, and I no longer get yelled at in the middle of the night, by his sleep talking :) Oh and it pays a little better, all good things.

Beyond all the positive things that happened in 2011, there were two great losses that must not go unnoticed. On February 6th we said goodbye to Andrew's Uncle Len and on May 27th we said goodbye to Andrew's Aunt Stacey. Two very good people leaving behind so many loved ones that will never forget them and carry a piece of them with them everyday. We think about these two all the time and the reality that we don't get to see them still sometimes is hard to fathom. But knowing they are not suffering and in a better place watching over those they love puts our hearts at ease.

And because whether we like it or not, life and the world around us keeps on going on. So trying to live each day to its fullest and enjoy every moment together....here is how we have kicked off the new year. Waking up to a beautiful morning at Vashon. On Jan 2nd Andrew took the day off and we enjoyed walking around Snoqualmie, playing int he snow and taking pictures. And on Jan 3rd before heading back to Eugene, cousin Kailan attended ballet with Siena, a very special treat. Kailan watched Siena two summers ago, and these two hold a special bond. I love watching them together, and Siena loved that Kailan came to ballet with her. She keeps talking about it, and even told papa that Kailan got to go to ballet with her, but he can't because he is not a girl.

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1.3.12

New Years- Vashon Style

We headed over to Vashon on Wed evening, for a four day weekend. We met cousin Sarah over there and had a quite night. On Thursday the Millers and Maders came. On Friday Andrew went to work, and his parents along with Sarah's boyfriend Chris came. It was a full house, and we had a blast. Of course we ATE all weekend. Crab cakes, seafood risotto, lasagna, chicken, crab, salads....tons of appetizers. And all soooo good. The weather wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't horrible. We were able to get outside and enjoy some beach time. The water came up soooo high on the dock, which made for a small window the beach was actually available. On Friday the 30th (Angie's birthday) we went to zoo lights. We left Jackson at the house with Sue and Andy, bundled up in tons of layers and headed to the ferry dock. We walked on the Tacoma  ferry and HIKED (no joke...it was all up hill, on a dark street for about a mile) to the zoo. Some of the Bulls (Matt & Babe and Michael & Chelain) tagged along with us, which made for an even more fun evening. After the zoo, we found a bus that was shuttling people up to take us back down to the dock. We had the bus to ourselves, and it was Sophia's first bus experience. After being out in the freezing cold, it was sooooo nice to step foot on a warm cozy bus. Then with forty minutes to spare before the boat left, Shelia, Angie and I got a birthday drink at Anthony's while the boys watched the kids. We then boarded the ferry where we helped direct traffic with the laser lights Uncle Ben bought the girls at the zoo. A sure highlight of the evening.  The laser lights kept the girls going and even doubled as a guitar back on the ferry. There were only a few animals to see, which was kind of a disappointment, but the lights were awesome and I am glad we went. Zoo lights was followed by game night back (Battle of the sexes) at the house, which is always loud, controversial and a ton of fun. Glad the Bull's stayed for this. On New Years, we took it easy in the morning and drove around the Island checking out the lighthouse, the big farm and Camp Sealth. We also spent some time on the beach and took our last family picture of 2011 (self-timer, ad we are all looking!). In the evening Matt and babe came back over for round 2 of game night. The star performer (green) cranium cards. Hummdingers, copycat's and cameo's. Another controversial and fun evening...girls against guys. I don't even remember who won, I think the girls. But it was fun. I didn't even make it to midnight, since I had stayed up until 2am both nights before, and slowly crept away at 11:00pm into the room with Jackson, Siena and Sophia all sound asleep. The others walked down to Matt and Babes where the party continued. I heard of hot tubbing, 4 loco, jumping in the water, old records and much more. It sure was a good way to bring in 2012, and with good people. The weekend was a blast and it ended with us leaving early Sunday morning to view our new house!!! More on this later but we will be moving in February to Redmond to an adorable house! We are beyond excited and can't wait to share more details later. It was the best way to start off 2012!

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